Friendship Breakup

When I say break up the movie "The Breakup" comes to mind because no matter how civil you are it still hurts.

Some people in our lives are only meant for a season not life, and while those seasons are fun and we are not ready to give them up we must.

Today I am calling Breakup.

For years I had my kids, husband, livestock and friends. Things were idyllic, fun and I rarely sat at home with no invites.

In 2014 life changed for the better, I got pregnant with my 2nd child after 11years of trying. While all my friends were mothers I didn't expect to have the loneliness' that is felt by new moms because they are the first in their group to have a baby. 

So when a few friends became distant I figure it was because of my difficult pregnancy and all the time I was focusing on just getting my baby here. 

Then my son was born and those friends that I thought were just being polite and giving me my time to grow my son...didn't show up at the hospital or even after I got home, I was shocked.

Yes they all had some life changes too during that time, I was there for them each and every step of the way, I expected the same from them but I was met with nothingness.

Since the birth I have watched them move on with out a word to new friendships....all the while leaving me behind.

Yes it hurt, yes it still hurts, Yes I am lonely and yes I was even left out of being invited to a wedding. Which hurt most of all.

Over the course of the last 18 months my phone often stays silent, facebook don't have any notifications for me from them and in person conversations have become uncomfortable.

So I am making a decision for me.  I want to break up with you.
Yes you already broke up with me, by not saying a word and moving on but I am doing this for me.

Today I did something for me, I hit the delete button on social media in regards to you. I no longer follow you, you are restricted from my post and well I did the same for any mutual friends we may share that have become distant as well.

I honestly feel that having face book cuts out the "how are you" text and phone calls because well they can see how you are! They follow your post/pictures/rants/shares and there isn't anything that needs to be caught up on.

For some of them that were in this group of deletions, they had life changes that took them away from where they should be and now are surrounded by friends who support the lifestyle they wish to live. I guess me being close with our Heavenly Father has made you not want to be my friend?

So much I could say, so much hurt I could put into this post but if I did it would never end.  So here it is...I break up with you.

While we may be on a break up, I am still praying for you.