All Over Again

I was 19 he was 28, we met in April 2002, though I told him I was 20 and he told me he was 25. From the day we met it was 1 week before we moved in together, 3 days before I love you's were told, 3 months from day one till day I do.

I was young, never had a really serious relationship before, he had, I was in love, totally in love.  Our youngest was born exactly 8 months later from the day we said i do (lol you do that math, she was also 3 weeks late).

This year we will have been married 12 years, not all of those years were peaceful, happy or something out of a romance novel. I was young, selfish and immature, he was older, sorta selfish and well immature.

Something happened 4yrs ago to shake us to our core, no, no one cheated or thought about it. A child poped up from a previous relationship of the hubs, well a presumed child. Jerry Springer was the show we felt like we were on when dealing with that family, here 4yrs later the kid isnt his but the mother still wants a relationship with my husband (long story, its all in her head though) and until we found out the kid isnt his...and went though all that drama she made our life awful. We almost split, I was the one thinking of splitting...he was begging me to stay. I stayed for a multitude of reasons but the main one was because I love him, he is the man God made for me, Hes the best father a child could ask for and most importantly...He loves me.  I stayed and it didnt go back to how it was before, we faught alot and i had a ton of resentment built up.

For the past year we have gotten to a place better than we have ever been, I been praying, I been working hard. It was me that drew from him, It was me that couldnt handle the drama of the paternity issues, it was me who built up walls and let the devil in when I should have been drawing closer to God.  I prayed for my relationship, I prayed for God to change my heart and to take the walls down. Remove all the walls that were built when our foundation was tested, make us strong again.

Our love isn't something out of twilight, fifty shades of gray or even the best romance novel out there, but its us. I am happy, I love this man more now than I ever have! Thinking back on it all, the little things he did for me that went unnoticed until my eyes were open. I didn't deserve him, dont get me wrong we still get snippy and frustrate each other...and heck when i close this lap top we could have a knock down drag out but now I know what I didnt know before.

I have been falling in love all over again with my husband for the past year, I feel grateful for the things he does do instead of griping about the things he dont do. Dont get me wrong...his shoes, clothes and bath towel are currently in the bathroom floor...but I look at those things and while I feel irritation growing, I may still nag him about it, but I am grateful he is here for me to pick up those things. Today i realized 12yrs ago he gave up the good parking spot at our home for me, I didnt ask him to...he just did. I noticed it because due to the trailer being hooked up my truck is not in the normal spot...but he is in my spot...he commented that he couldnt wait for the trailer to be put back so I can have my spot back. I dont walk in the mud, I have nice gravel and walkway, I dont worry about getting stuck because I have gravel under my tires, he dont.  I have the shelter of a tree to help keep the rain off me.  He did that for me, my comfort because he loves me. Simple and gone unnoticed for 12yrs. 

There are a ton of silly things, major things that I didnt notice until now. I pray God keeps up the good work, the devil keeps out of it and that I will always feel this way.  I may not feel it all day every day but every day. I praise God for the work he has done and continues to do.

I dont know the point of this post...but I am so filled with aww and love I just had to share.