Oatmeal Bake - Good for Breakfast or any day time snack

Oatmeal Fruit Bake - Breakfast or any daytime snack 

This recipe can be made with any type of fruit, frozen is best.  So if you want fresh strawberries chop them and freeze them for a bit. We typically do frozen strawberries, chop with mini chopper and return to freezer. 

Preheat Oven to 350

Grease 9x13 Pan 

1 3/4 Cup Milk 

2 Eggs 

1/2 cup 100% Pure Maple Syrup (not Pancake syrup) 

1/4 cup Melted Butter (not margarine ) 

1/4 cup Apple Sauce or mashed bananas

3 Cups Old Fashioned Oats

1 tsp Vanilla

1 tsp Baking Powder

1 tsp Cinnamon 

1/4 tsp Kosher Salt

2 cup frozen fruit (fresh can make the recipe more liquid, if so increase the amount of oats by 1/2 cup) 

Mix all together put in a 9x13 pan and bake at 350 for 35-40 Mins

Printable Recipe can be printed here 

Nutrition Label can be seen here 

Growing up with Narcissist

I've eluded to this topic over the years, shared some personal events in detail and even yes sorta kind of named it.  

What I've never been able to do is see the full effects of how being raised by a Narcissist effected me more than most people realized.  What can be seen is the physical scars on my arms and those don't even phase me how ever what cant be seen is the deep deep scars that have shaped how life, love, motherhood, dietary, friendship and relationship with God. 

Wasn't until I needed to see a therapist to deal with another issue in my life did I see that living my life in fight or flight mode has damaged my thinking, how i react, my thoughts and feelings to things. 

Living my life waiting on the other shoe to drip is exhausting and having someone point that out felt so intrusive but safe at the same time. 

Not sure I know how to live in the moment, experience true joy or even rest. 

If something good happens, expectation of something bad is coming follows soon after. 

I have been living life on the edge for years that my jaw hurts from clenching, shoulders ache from constantly being braced, friendships ruined because leaping to worse chase scenarios is always happening. 

Trusting someone fully is something Ive never been able to do, it always ends bad for me when someone is given that access. There has never been a safe place for me to land, Know our heavenly Father always provides a safe place to land, peace that surpasses all understanding...yet no matter how much I want to feel as if I cant trust it. Feel like I have to do this my self because my self is the only one I can trust.

Religion was used as a weapon growing up, demanded and forced to be in every event/group in our church. Attendance wasn't expected, it was forced and we were punished if it didn't happen. Bible verses were threw at me as fast as the belt hit my rear end, or hand to my face. Was told "See God didn't let that happen because you did XYZ and vengeance is His! He wont let you hurt me, I am a child of God!" 

I may update this post later, just trying that took it out of me. 

Aunt Tosh's Yeast Rolls

A Family Favorite since 1930 

Aunt Tosh's Yeast Rolls 

1pkg Yeast

1cup Mashed Potato's (just plain potato's mashed)

1/2cup Potato Water

2/3 Cup Sugar

1Teaspoon Sugar

2/3 Cup Shortening 

2 Eggs 

2tsp Salt 

1 Cup Milk

6 Cups Flour 

Dissolve yeast in 1/4 cup lukewarm water, add 1 tsp sugar 

Cream: 2/3 cup Sugar, 2/3 Cup Shortening 

Add: 2 Eggs - Beat Well

Add: 2tsp Salt, mashed potato's - Beat Well

Combine Potato Water with Milk and add mixture with dissolved yeast

Blend in 6cups of sugar with mixture 

Place in greased container and let rise until doubled in size 

Form into rolls and let rise until doubled in size again (we like to place in muffin pans to let rise and bake)

Bake at 350 for 15-20mins 

This was written exactly as my grandmother did, she inherited the recipe in the 1950's .  

You would think this is like a potato roll but in reality it reminds you of a really good yeast roll and I was shocked to learn about the potato when I inherited it in 2008

Lavender Oatmeal Bath Soak DIY

It's winter I have itchy skin and no matter how much lotion I apply when I lay down at night I itch!
Recently while scrolling through Pinterest I came across a bath soak that used real dried lavender and oatmeal.

Since I don't have real lavender or access to dried lavender..... I improvised! If you don't know by now I'm quite addicted to essential oils.

I've been a rep with Young Living for almost 2 years. I'll admit I jumped on the bandwagon because it was popular, I spent a few months buying and playing with different essential oils and then about 9 months doing nothing with them. I've decided I spent my well hard earned money on them so  I'm going to put them to use!
Ive got several recipes for EOs and DIY around the house and this one is by far my fav!

Relaxing, moisturizing, cheap to make, and most importantly a recipe that works.

Lavender Oatmeal Bath Soak

1 cup Steel Cut Oats (Or any oatmeal)
1 cup Epsom Salt
20 drops Lavender Essential Oil
1 quart glass Jar
Cute Scoop is Optional :)
(Mine are left over from Formula)

Take oatmeal and place it in a food processor, magic bullet, or emulsion blender grind until powdery smooth. Will not take long. I did mine in the single serve Cup that fits on my Ninja Blender.

Once oatmeal is ground place in 2 quart glass jar, add the epson salt and lavender essential oil. Put lid on and Shake to mix well, I did mine half and half when mixing. Example I put half the salt oats and oil in the jar gave it a good shake and then added the rest.

Because of Essential Oils will eat certain plastics you will want to keep the soak in a glass jar, you will also want to keep it out of direct sunlight.

Let sit 24hrs, When ready add two tablespoons to your bath water and enjoy! I found this help my sleep, itchy skin and temperament if I use this at night before bed.

What this Pandemic Taught Me

When the pandemic first happened and first cases of COVID hit the US I kept thinking of Ebola virus, that this was all made up or blown up and stay at home orders where to keep us controlled. 

Then a friend lost her son to it.

 Pandemic brought more than fear to my house hold, it brought food shortages, mental health issues, cancelled year and a 19yr marriage almost dissolved.

 In July of 2021 I can safely say the scars of the pandemic still run deep. Yes I am still wearing my mask, staying away from crowds, picking who I hang with.

 Jan 2020 I was diagnosed with IIH, Intercrainal Hypertension...something that sounds like high blood pressure but isn't. Long Story short is my brain thinks I have a tumor (I dont) so if floods my head with CSF fluid to protect it self, which causes vision issues, incredible head pressure, headaches, ear pressure problems including hearing loss and the chance of stroke. This cannot be cured but it can be managed by one of 3 routes. First being medication Topamax or Diamox, second option is lumbar punctures and finally a shunt. All 3 carry their own risks, rewards and neither is fun. January 2020 I started on Topamax that was slowly increased from 25mg to almost 200mg over the course of few months, this medication was horrible to adjust to and get on. By Mid March early April I was firmly on the new dose. April was also smack dab in the middle of Texas shut down, so for months my mental health declined and no one noticed. Friendships where reduced to facebook, text and phone calls but if you only talk to a friend via text message 24/7 they dont notice the little things that eventually added up. Melissa a friend who I met through my oldest in 4H called one day to chat, I had mentioned starting Topamax...she mentioned taking it. We talked about the hardships of getting on it, daily struggles (its nick name is Dopamax because it feels like your out of it) something I said during that conversation had her calling back. No I wasn't depressed just...idk how to even describe it. My anxiety was at a def con 10 level and rising, so Melissa kept calling. Yes we talk often but not weekly, or even every other week before Topamax but she kept calling every other day. She noticed the decline in me when others didn't, possibly because she knew the struggle personally. One day she begged me to call my doctor, asking for a change. So i did...Diamox was issued and Topamax was solely weaned off (with it came withdraws, anxiety at a level I had never experienced) and Diamox was slowly introduced. 

By this time its mid-fall going into November when I finally come out of my Topamax fog.

 My husband didnt even notice How can a husband of 19yrs not notice the mental health decline of his wife? Well that part was easy! He was texting, talking and having an emotional relationship with a woman from work. Aug 2020-Jan 2021. January 2021 is when I found out.

 I should say in March of 2020 my oldest was suppose to get her drivers license and my youngest his eval for Autism, neither of which happened. School was cancelled, groceries where hard to find and I had a undiagnosed High Functioning  Autistic kid who was out of control because we couldn't get any help, mainly due to no diagnosis then followed by Pandemic. December 2020 we have our diagnosis, ABA is started, Jan 8th 2021 we finally see a doctor who can prescribe medication to him. We are finally making some headway, he is MUCH better than 2020 but still has struggles like most ASD kids.

Jan 25th 2021 Husband comes home from work on a Friday and tells me he wants to take the weekend off to think things over, lol umm no if anyone is getting a hotel room for the weekend its me. The mom who single handily took care of both kids, worked from home and homeschooled the both of them. Momma is tired! He proceeds to tell me I have done my part as a wife/mother I can have the house, car, everything hes just going to walk away. Umm what? This was such a curve from left field I couldn't follow the play, questions start to flying and he abruptly says "Fine Ill stay and work it out" My head still spins and cant fully grasp all that transpired that Friday.

That Sunday night something told me to check the cell phone records, sure enough in the month of January 1500 messages to one number had been exchanged, a number I didn't know. So I checked his phone (this was at 12am) sure enough the number was in his phone as Kristin Hartani. LOL Of course his butt needed to get up and explain somethings, he tells me they are just friends. I call BS on that. 

So that Monday I show up to his work, bring cookies to the office and put a face with the name. While I am in the office she is sending a email to my husband that they need to talk. She thinks about him alot, she can only be truth ful about her feelings how she cares for him and finally that I am in the office checking up.  Something tells me on the way home that to check his email, so I do and find that email in his deleted folder (I mean she did title it "Delete") The truth finally comes out, along with it alot of stuff he now says he didnt mean.  Of course he says that now, hes been told how deeply its hurt me! 

I am a pretty good private eye on my own but I did enlist the help of a professional. Kristin Hartani moved to Texas in 2015 from Florida, has two kids and is married to Mohamed Hartani for 20+ years. She speaks another language, has a brother locally, a father & mother who passed up north and her husband pays for a expensive house with no job. The cars are also financed by USAA. Which is important to note that you can only get USAA if a sibling, parent, self or spouse (her kids are not old enough) can use. Armed with alot of information, I go and meet the homewrecker in person. Yes I know he was just an active in this as her, but shes married with kids and still actively sought a relationship with my husband.  I have nothing to be ashamed about in this, she how ever does not like that I call her on her game. I proceed to tell her how the cow is going to eat the cabbage because that email she sent? Well it was a direct violation of the employee code of conduct (and a newly formed clause, because this same situation had happened in another dept and lead to a law suit), sent on a company email to a employee email during office hours and she was in her probation period too.  

The days that followed my husband becomes very open, he tells me she blocked him on social media ...he was depressed about it (which i can only assume he did talk to her in person for a few days because there is no trace on his phone) then I start telling him I finally have my background report on her. This woman knows a ton about me, only fair I know more about her.  So he starts asking, I start sharing info that can be proved, backed up and verified...what I didnt know is that the info I had poked holes in her story.  Example she told him no one in her family had served in the army, she was a orphan, she was sole bread winner of the house hold husband didn't work. How did the pay the mortgage on a 2K a month home, car notes, utilities on her salary that didn't even being to make that much.  This point he starts to feel betrayed and I still dont know how to process those feelings in that moment. I cannot sympathize with him because I so intensely dislike her, anger, hurt, betrayal those are my emotions. 

Since January 30th 2021 when I found everything my husband has worked to restore the brokenness in our marriage, counseling, weekend marriage retreats etc.   God is the only one who can restore whats been broken and hes been doing that. I still carry around scars from this that run so deep they hurt to look at, some day I hope to be able to to look back and only feel Gods presence in this instead of tidal wave I feel now. 

Let me also say that in times like this is best to have a good friend, your person in life who isn't scared to do some shady stuff. So shout out to Katie because girl, while you have always had my back you single handily carried me for months. You & God are the only reasons I am not in jail or a mental headcase, you two put me back together when I couldn't even find the pieces..kept me sane and refused to let me lay in bed and waller. 

Other things the Pandemic taught me: Food & Medicine Storage

Yes here we are months later and Costco/Sams still get regular orders from me. Stocking up on food has become almost an obsession that I do know has to stop. 

2020 & 2021 hasn't been the kindest to me, but God always prevails...Light in the darkness 

The best Slow Cooker Pasta sauce EVER! I really mean that

This recipe came out of a combination of other recipes till I found the one I liked. Dont let the baby food ingredient fool you, Buca Di Peppo uses it! 1lb Lean ground Meat ( Beef works best) 2 Onions diced (or half bag of frozen prediced) 2tbs Minced Garlic (I use the preminced jar kind..so much easier) 3-14oz Can Tomato Sauce 1-6oz Can Tomato paste 2- Stage 2 Carrot baby food (or 4 of Stage 1, do not use Stage 3 its chunky) 2 Celery stalks finely chopped (i often leave this out, cant decide if its nessary) 2tsp Salt 1/4 tsp Black Pepper 2tsp Dried Oregano 1/2 tsp Dried Thyme 1/2 tsp Dried Basil 1/4 tsp Dried Sage 1 Bay leaf 1 Cup water Cook Meat and drain any fat Combine everything in a crock pot Slow for 8-10hrs. I have a 8qt Crockpot and CANNOT double this, yes it originally fits but after 8-10hrs it starts to over flow. It freezes very well and a family favorite

The Best Beef Stew Ive Ever Had-Instant Pot

Instant Pot Beef & Barley Stew

1 Onion diced to taste 

1 pkg of  raw carrots cut to taste (my family prefers rounds, or sticks)

1 Bunch of Celery diced to taste

Potato's Cut to taste (my family prefers reds and cut small) 

2 lb of Beef Stew meat, I cut excess fat off and larger pieces in half 

1 cup of pearl dried barley 

8 cups beef broth low sodium 

1 tsp basil 

2 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp onion powder

1 tsp white pepper (honestly regular black pepper is just fine, i ironically had it on hand) 

1 package Onion Soup Mix

2 tsp oil of your choice, I prefer Extra Virgin Olive Oil  (Evoo) 

Turn Instant Pot on Saute 

Put in EVOO and Onion, Celery, Carrots, Potato's and let them sweat

after about 10 minutes turn off and put in seasonings...stir

Mix in the meat, barley and broth 

Seal lid, put valve to sealing 

Select Meat/Stew or Stew/Soup 30 Minutes. If you do not have those options select manual for 30 minutes. 

Once the instant pot is done do a quick release and serve. 

Enjoy 

My kid feels called to go on a Mission

As parents there are many moments that take our breath away one I didn't expect was for my teen to tell me she feels God calling her on a mission.  This article isn't to convince you to send your child, or tell you not to. Its my journey


Lets back up 16yrs to the moment I first held her it was 12hrs after her birth, scary news was delivered and prayers sent up. I finally get to hold her, arms still little numb from the medications brain a little foggy from morphine.... I saw that beautiful face and my first thought was "My kid is going to change the world".  At the time I figured it was a drug induced thought but one that stuck with me.  LOL I only mentioned this to my mother in law years after


Fast forward to Super Summer 2018 I get a phone call on day 4 at a time I normally wouldn't and my pulse quickens something must be wrong.  She was calling to say hi & telling me about her day along with a group she met called IGo Global.  Something about that 5 second sentence stayed with me, I quickly googled them. Sitting back in my work chair I am on verge of tears, why I don't exactly know happiness? Fear? Inability to comprehend? I felt a peace I cannot describe in the same moment.


Next day she comes home my only thought as she climbs off the bus is "My Kid is going on a mission" in the same breath as she descends the final step of the bus is a whisper of my mother in law who passed last year say "You have known this for a while" . The breath I had been holding was exhaled


She applied, She Fundraised and She went to Germany.  I knew 10 days would not be enough for her, sure enough she came home, applied again.  Next trip? 7 Weeks Destination unknown


My Church provides us with Parenting Teens Magazine by Lifeway the same month we find out she's going this was the topic... LOL God always prepares for us!

While I have no issue sending my child where God calls her I know for some parents this can be scary so I am going to share with you some things I hope bring you peace.

2 Million Americans go on short term mission every year of those 74% of parents say it made a lasting impression on their teen...less materialistic, appreciate other cultures & more understanding. Our primary job is to raise children who know God personally, love him passionately and respond to Him obediently. Our Teens act of serving others reflects what God has done for us in Christ, LOVE. The purest kind of love and that is something we want to support with our whole heart and soul.

God has called your child, take pride in knowing your child has such a relationship with God they herd the call  and answered "Send Me".  Discouraging teenagers desire to go on a mission steers their Christianity toward mere religious knowledge and empty Sunday ritual. Missions is not a call its a command! Matthew 28:18-20 is Gods Command for us to go out into the world and make disciples of ALL nations. Proverbs 22:6 "Start a youth out on his way; even when he grows old he will not depart from it"

I know its scary, I cried big ugly tears dropping her off...my momma heart was scared but Lord gave me a peace that even when the tears flowed everything would be ok.

Some people did not agree with us "allowing" her to go, they where openly opposed to it. Told her God didn't give her a brain to make that sort of decision at her age, that God don't speak to children. Said I must not love my child if I am allowing this, I'm sending her to be killed (lets forget that Germany is the 22nd safest county in the world, USA? 138th) yes that all came from Family. Strangers, our Church and Friends supported her more than one family member. Sad.

Here are some things I did in preparing my teen for a trip 5,300 miles from home, hopefully they can help prepare yours too.

1) Pray...Pray for guidance, clarity, ability to hear Him in this decision. For me I personally prayed that if this was His will there would be no road blocks. If She wasn't suppose to go the road block would be so big I couldn't deny it.

2) A job dealing with the public every day, its important for our kids to have a good work ethic but also how to handle a variety of different people. Yes they will see all kinds in their trip, having comparison and ability to keep a cool head is worth its weight in gold. So fast food it is, Chick Fil A to be exact! She has had food thrown at her head, been cussed out, seen intoxicated people, those under the influence of drugs, people with different religious, cultural and political belief's.  No the chicken sandwich did not prepare her for everything Frankfurt threw at her it did help her when someone was in her face yelling in a language she didn't understand.

Dealing with coworkers, a boss, schedule, getting ready on her own for the day. Worth every drive I did for pick up and drop off. I also turned the helicopter off (yes I am that mom, that's ok too!) let her handle all the issues that came up by her self, I would not be with her on the trip. (Now if I needed to this momma would be up in that place and making heads roll but so far Momma bear hasn't been needed)

3) Money management! I got some check registers from the bank, gave my kid "bills & Paycheck" and taught them how to manage their money. What you don't want is on day 3 having to send them money. Ps. lets be honest, this is a GREAT life tool as well

4) While I've been working on preparing her Physically my next step is helping her prepare Spiritually.  Months earlier I did the Bible Study Seamless by Angie Smith and it was AMAZING! Yes a lot of work but you are soo prepared to answer almost any question about the bible! So Seamless was done

5) My child has been helping on local mission trips before this one with her youth group, working in a local women's shelter, food pantry, and those of our church who needs it.  She had been doing this for a few years, If you child has not I encourage it. Let them see locally what it may be like. 

6) This step was for me, I had to fully relinquish my fears, thoughts, reservations to the Lord. I would be home when she was afar, I could not protect her...I had to fully bend my knees and lay it at the cross. Faith with out works is dead, so with my hand held to the flame I practiced what I preached. Was it easy? NO! Did I often pick back up what I had just laid down? YES! I Lord knows us too well, He knew how many times I would lay that down....Each time He met me.

This trip isn't just about your child, its about you too. Both of you will grow in faith and person.

7) Sleep as much as you can before they leave, because lets be honest? I watched that plane very second of the 10 hour flight. Time zones are awful, I was good asleep when she was starting her day. Every day that passes will get easier by the end you will be a pro. Oh and pack all toiletries with two pair of clothes in their carry on. LOL that gave me an unreal peace of mind! HAHA

I love my child with a intense fierceness that would make a lion cower, God loves our children so much more than that!  If He can call her.....I can send her. 

Hoping this helps you!



Motherhood is Exhausting

If your a mom or a grandmother lets stop a second, stand up and give our self a pat on the back. Motherhood is HARD! Yes its the most rewarding, fulfilling, wonderful adventure of my life but its also equally as exhausting.


I love my kids more than I could ever possibly imagine, cant even articulate the correct words to express it.  My three are so individually unique as they are different from each other, no two is the same. Oldest is lost in the adult world, she's unreachable, middle is trying to save the world one soul at a time, youngest we are struggling to meet his needs.   My youngest has sensory processing disorder, anxiety, ADHD and a few other diagnosis they cannot officially give until hes a few months older.


Youngest has started school and (ill make a dramatic pause here) We know the principal by first name. He was given a wonderful patient, grace giving teacher who longs to reach him, help him and grow him....but he keeps pushing those boundaries.


If you are of the praying kind, say one for my sweet boy. He is soooo sweet, soooo loving, soooo funny and incredibly smart; he just has needs that we need to meet just don't know what they are.

Busy Summer Time

Its been since March since I last posted, I don't like posting unless I feel like I have something to say or worthy to share.


November 2018 I had a 3 inch plate and 7 screws but in my Ulna bone along with 3mm shaved off it.


Feb 2019 My partially disabled mother had rotator cuff surgery


March 2019 My youngest was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder, Anxiety
(two more possibly diagnosis awaiting but my youngest needs to be older to official receive them


July 2019 My middle left for 10 days in Germany on a mission trip


There where about 1.9 million other things happening at same time as well.


Please don't give up on me, I am experiencing some writers block. Forcing my self to finish this actually!