Sundays in the South

Living south of the Mason Dixon Line and in the bible belt most Sundays are spent in church, I hate to say we played hookie today.

I love the Lord and get so much peace, inspiration and uplifting from a service, but I hate to say I haven't been in a while. We got into a pattern of "Church Shopping" and just quit going, and not attending became the norm I am sad to say. We haven't found the right one, but sleeping late and spending the day being lazy hasn't helped us find it either.

No Excuses we need to find one and get plug in again.

Well this Sunday in the south its 77 degrees, with winds at 35mph, in short its a beautiful day that the Lord has made and we are glad in it. All the windows are open letting that nice steady breeze blow through the house, the grill is cranked up and is about ready for the sweet and sour chicken that will soon be placed on it, the fajita meat is marinating and that will be dinner.

We are dwelling as a family today, tv is off, chores are being done and we are being still, thanking the good Lord for this beautiful day.

You cant spend a Sunday like today in the South and not see the beauty that the Lord has made, you cannot sit outside with a glass of tea (unsweet for me!) letting the wind blow your hair, the sun on your face(...its January and we are in flip flops and capris) and not feel his presence.

Dear Lord, 

Today is awesome! Its beautiful, 77 degrees and I just want to take a moment to Thank you. Today is a gift for us this January, most of my family is dealing with 30 degree or below temps, ice and snow. What hardship do I have today? None..you have blessed us with the beauty of awesome weather. Forgive our absence from church and know that are hearts belong to you Lord. Thank  you...today is awesome. 

Amen

All Over Again

I was 19 he was 28, we met in April 2002, though I told him I was 20 and he told me he was 25. From the day we met it was 1 week before we moved in together, 3 days before I love you's were told, 3 months from day one till day I do.

I was young, never had a really serious relationship before, he had, I was in love, totally in love.  Our youngest was born exactly 8 months later from the day we said i do (lol you do that math, she was also 3 weeks late).

This year we will have been married 12 years, not all of those years were peaceful, happy or something out of a romance novel. I was young, selfish and immature, he was older, sorta selfish and well immature.

Something happened 4yrs ago to shake us to our core, no, no one cheated or thought about it. A child poped up from a previous relationship of the hubs, well a presumed child. Jerry Springer was the show we felt like we were on when dealing with that family, here 4yrs later the kid isnt his but the mother still wants a relationship with my husband (long story, its all in her head though) and until we found out the kid isnt his...and went though all that drama she made our life awful. We almost split, I was the one thinking of splitting...he was begging me to stay. I stayed for a multitude of reasons but the main one was because I love him, he is the man God made for me, Hes the best father a child could ask for and most importantly...He loves me.  I stayed and it didnt go back to how it was before, we faught alot and i had a ton of resentment built up.

For the past year we have gotten to a place better than we have ever been, I been praying, I been working hard. It was me that drew from him, It was me that couldnt handle the drama of the paternity issues, it was me who built up walls and let the devil in when I should have been drawing closer to God.  I prayed for my relationship, I prayed for God to change my heart and to take the walls down. Remove all the walls that were built when our foundation was tested, make us strong again.

Our love isn't something out of twilight, fifty shades of gray or even the best romance novel out there, but its us. I am happy, I love this man more now than I ever have! Thinking back on it all, the little things he did for me that went unnoticed until my eyes were open. I didn't deserve him, dont get me wrong we still get snippy and frustrate each other...and heck when i close this lap top we could have a knock down drag out but now I know what I didnt know before.

I have been falling in love all over again with my husband for the past year, I feel grateful for the things he does do instead of griping about the things he dont do. Dont get me wrong...his shoes, clothes and bath towel are currently in the bathroom floor...but I look at those things and while I feel irritation growing, I may still nag him about it, but I am grateful he is here for me to pick up those things. Today i realized 12yrs ago he gave up the good parking spot at our home for me, I didnt ask him to...he just did. I noticed it because due to the trailer being hooked up my truck is not in the normal spot...but he is in my spot...he commented that he couldnt wait for the trailer to be put back so I can have my spot back. I dont walk in the mud, I have nice gravel and walkway, I dont worry about getting stuck because I have gravel under my tires, he dont.  I have the shelter of a tree to help keep the rain off me.  He did that for me, my comfort because he loves me. Simple and gone unnoticed for 12yrs. 

There are a ton of silly things, major things that I didnt notice until now. I pray God keeps up the good work, the devil keeps out of it and that I will always feel this way.  I may not feel it all day every day but every day. I praise God for the work he has done and continues to do.

I dont know the point of this post...but I am so filled with aww and love I just had to share.

Crossroad

At a crossroads here lately, dont know which route I should take and as of this moment there is no blinking clear sign thats saying "God wants you to go this way!" Man alive I wish there was.

I ask that for the next few days you pray for Gods decision and direction for my life to be made clear and for there not to be a question about my decision.

Thank you,

Carolyn 

Unglued

A friend of mine posted a picture of a book she was going to start reading called Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst.  Like normal i thought the cover looked good and a screenshot was taken on my phone to look up the book later, its now later and I am reading the book. Its not one you read quickly, it has to sink in and be absorbed and thought about! I have to say I find my self thinking about my actions when my emotions get the best of me and its helped me deal with a lot of things. I am an Exploder, I am Scottish with a quick temper and big mouth, I try hard to contain that but when stupidity and down right rudeness are received by strangers I get cranky quick.

I seriously suggest you give this book a try, it has helped me very much in dealing with my emotions and finding ways to show Gods love through my mouth than what it use to be.

I suggest you get a print edition as well, I am a huge fan of ebooks, I own a Kindle AND a Nook...but having this in print...well gives you...a little something more.

Book can be found at the below hyper links

Amazon
Barnes & Noble 
Lifeway Christian Stores
Walmart 

Also her website Proverbs 31 has monthly bible studys for FREE! All you have to do it join :) The next one starting Jan 17 (I believe thats the start date) is Crave...a must read! Join today for free and get the bible study that will help you grow!

Preva's Buffalo Chicken Ranch Dip

By Far my most read post, 578 views and shares in 2013 alone.
I know its not about me but the dip...I cant blame you its uber yummy!

So here it is...the link to Peva's Dip that changed the way I viewed parties...mainly because I have to make this dip for every party...TWO batches mind you.  One for home and the other for the party :)

http://giftfarms.blogspot.com/2012/12/prevas-buffalo-chicken-ranch-dip.html

Resolutions 2013 Style

I have made resolutions and not made resolutions and neither of these have worked. So its time for a change, I think if I set one goal per month it might be easier to obtain then just a big list of things at one time. I know your thinking well if you keep up with it like you do your blog its never going to work. Your possibly right!!  So lets see how it goes.

January
Lose 5lbs ( I have lost 31 so far!)
Finish Unglued
Start 40 Day study

February
Finish 40 Day Study
Loose an additional 5lbs (that would be 41 if I did)
Start looking at how to break into publishing

March
Join a Gym
Loose an additional 5lbs and tone up what's sagging!

April
Turn 31 with grace and style (no drama and tears this year)
Loose an additional 5lbs


May
Figure out May - Aug


2013 Has been kind and harsh to me, but I hope that 2014 is kinder to me and my family. I hope 2014 holds a closer relationship with God and that I can calm this restlessness in me.

Happy New Year

Carolyn

The cost of Hashimotos

I had to hit the pharmacy today...again. I swear I live there! I know I could get 3 month refills on all my meds but who can afford that since I am one of the million uninsured American's (ps. Obama care cost me more per year than I spend being a cash patient) so I get 30 refills.  I will tell you through for 35 a year I can join walgreens prescription plan and save big bucks, why Walgreen's well my local Wal-Mart does not want to stock my thyroid medication because of the short shelf life and they have no other demand for it...that's ok Walgreen's is way better in customer service and timely filling.

I know you look at my picture and think well if she lost the weight she could get off some of her medication.....wrong. Thyroid disease is for life, I will always be on some of the meds if not all. It isn't as simple as taking a pill and magically fixing the problem. Hasimotos has caused several issue

High Blood Pressue - This is not a every day kind of thing, when my levels are good I no longer require HBP medication.  I go off and on this...sometimes with in the same month.

Low Potassium - HBP medication reduces the absorption of Potassium in my body, so does my nose spray.

PCOS- So I have to take birth control pills just to be normal

Constant infections and colds- Mainly sinus and chest colds, so I take a RX nose spray daily and inhaler to cut down these flare ups...only 2 so far in the last 11 months (yay!)

Over all I take 8 pills a day

Thyroid medication, HBP, Potassium, Birth Control, Inhaler, Nose Spray, Multivitamin (extremely important!!), biotin (because Hashi makes you hair fall out)

That cost me appox 150.00 at month with the walgreens plan...with out appox 278.00

I don't know the purpose of this post...just blogging because I have cabin fever and cant wait for the ice to melt! LOL

House I grew up in

We all have wonderful sweet memories of Christmastime at our mothers house, or grandmothers and traditions that follow us into adult hood. My Gege does stockings in addtion to gifts, ever year she swears its the last...but us adult grown grandchildren always want it to continue. 

I dont decorate for Christmas, I know it sounds awful but you got to know about the house i grew up in. I have a phobia of anything resembling a Christmas decoration! The day after thanksgiving my mother would make us clean the house top to bottom and when we got older she sat while we cleaned, then she would make my father drag out box after box of decorations. We would spend our entire thanksgiving break decorating for Christmas.; as children this was fun but when we got older we grew to resent it. Why? I honestly don't know, but my mothers house would resemble a hallmark store on crack...NO LIE! Its every ware!! 

To each their own but for me and my brother instead of grow up and having a ton of Christmas decor in our own homes, we almost have none. We will even ignore our mothers call to help her decorate, I know we will miss it some day and shame on us but its the honest truth and she knows it. 

I guess maybe we need some counseling to unlock this mystery of why we have phobias about Christmas but we do our own decorating and have our own traditions with our family's and we don't get stressed out about having a clean house before putting up decorations and then the dreaded task of taking them down. My husband isn't one for clutter so us not having a ton of nick nacks around in December makes him happy, we still hit all the Christmas parades, plays and parks. Drink hot coco, read the Christmas story and we have the Elf on the Shelf too. We still believe in the spirit and meaning behind Christmas...we just don't have the clutter. 

We also don't put a lot of emphasis on Santa either, sure he comes and occasionally we visit him at the mall (not ever year), same with writing to Santa.  We personally just don't believe in anything that takes away from the reason for the season. Only reason we do Santa and Elf is because we were pressured by my mother too...when i say pressured she threw a fit and wouldn't stop until we gave in. I know I know stand your ground! I also have to pick my battles too, we choose to do Santa but do him in our way. 

This year we visited Santa, wrote him a letter but I don't think the word Santa has been spoken in my house for over two weeks. We do a birthday cake for Jesus and give to Kids in need, I want my child to know the reason for the season not what was created to take the spot light off Jesus birth.

Ok off my soap box and back to getting ready for the day. 

I don't mean to offend anyone, if your house looks like the hallmark store no judgement! To each his own and we are all different with different traditions..I still love you! If Santa is a huge thing for you, no judgement I still love you!

I HATE you Thyroid! You Suck!

I hate you thryoid, you suck...you suck the life right out of me.
 I have Hashimotos caused by Hypothroidism; laymans terms...my thyroid is lazy and dont work. You never realize how important the thyroid is until it dont want to work anymore, it literaly controls every function of your body by producing a hormone that fuction needs to work.

For the lucky ones they simply take a pill every month with one yearly blood test, others (non lucky ones) we have monthly blood test along with monthly doctors vists and a laundry list of symptoms. Our hair falls out, eye lashes and eye brows disappear, we can never get enough sleep, either hot or cold ALL THE TIME, we cannot remember crap that we need , joints ache, constant under eye bags, puffy skin...not to mention weight gain. If that wasnt enough we have low sex drives, boughts of depression and Hashi patients have brittle nails, dry skin, and constantly being sick.

I slept 8hrs and woke up to feeling more tired than i did before I laid down, the hubs said I slept like a log. My joints acked and to top it all off I am loosing more eye lashes by the minute!! AUGH!!!

I have read everything out there too read, started a thyroid diet, order the test the doctor wants and some he thinks I dont need but I insisted on..and my conclusion? I am just going to have to live with it! I want to cry!!

So if you see me some day bald, bent over like an old person and cant remember who you are..dont forget this post. Laugh now but I can happen!!

Battles we face & Bridges we Cross

We are given the option of free will, we often make mistakes the good Lord don't want us to, but we are able to.  That's when we look up to God and find our way home...we are also give certain battles to face and bridges to cross in God's plan for our life...and I wonder why? Is this a punishment for a past wrong...or am I reaping what I sewed? Will this make me strong and turn to you more or will this benefit someone else and not me? Did this happen because of my choices or a plan you have for me?  They are all different variations of....... WHY?!?!

Why do I have a step daughter who hates me and wishes I wasn't around? Why don't my kids see all that I do for them? Why do I have a 50 shades of cray-cray baby momma who thinks if I wasn't around she and my husband could be married and happy (though she seems to forget he didn't date her seriously the first 3 times before I came into the picture)?

I will never know the answers to these questions...but I do know that I am not alone. I have God who stands behind, besides and in front of me, I only need to lay down my armor and let Him fight my battles.